danger. romance. drinking. drugs. petty crime. heartbreak. loneliness.
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sad to hear that a bear was killed in oregon at a ranch today. i love bears and it’s earth day people.

"he felt himself forgotten, not with the irremediable forgetfulness of the heart, but with a different kind of forgetfulness, which was more cruel and irrevocable and which he knew very well because it was the forgetfulness of death."

- gabriel garcia marquez

you captured an immediate home in my heart when i first read your pages, and now in honor of your life, which was lived well, i will continue your memory in the only way that i know how, by continuing to read, until my own eyes flutter shut, or upon the ironic occasion that i become blind as you did. and perhaps within my own visions i can happen upon some beauty, as you did.

all i could do was be weak,
to fumble along alone, to wish for a different reality.

i’m hoping i can push myself to be stronger. i’m hoping to enjoy the summer. i’m hoping to only grow and explore my own self.

i can do it.

ah, what madness, he thought, to believe in a song lasting forever, as if everything in this world had not been doomed from the very beginning.
- milan kundera

my weekend was spent in the best way - lazily lounging the the grass at the park, listening to my favorite songs, bicycling around town, working on my garden plot for hours in the sunshine, and picnicking with my honey. we made an abundance of sushi on wednesday night which turned out to be the perfect picnic snack the next day, and went riding along the river run trail down near cottage grove which used to be a railway and is now a beautiful path that weaves through dense forest and over rivers until you reach the shore of dorena lake. i enjoyed taking the pace a bit slower and having no real plans… it made for some of the best times i’ve had recently!